When a client first comes in for a consultation, a significnat amount of time is consumed by them telling me what an awful person their sooon to be former-spouse is. Early in my career i would try to quickly steer the client away from this line of thought. Inevitably, my efforts would fail. With time. I learned that this venting process was an important step in the divorce process. Whether is was intended to convince me or the client, I am not sure; but they need to villify the spouse was great.
Once the allegations were aired, it was then my responsibility to explain to the client that under New Jersey law, marital fault was of little, if any, relevance to the financial determinations that would eventually be made.This reality was a bitter pill for many to swallow.
I have no doubt that many people suffer greatly during their marriage. Genuine abuse, whether physical, verbal, or emotional is never acceptable. That being said, in many divorces, genuine abuse is not present.
In recognition of the fact that it is often difficult to assign responsibility for the breakdown of the marriage to one party over the other both the alimony and equitable distribution statutes do not have marital fault as a factor. Therefore, there is no need to fill legal pleasdings with all the dirty laundry.
