For most people, going through a divorce is a period of chaos and uncertainty. It is also a time of transition. For many people, part of their transition from married their married life includes the resumption of dating. Whether or not one decides to date while their divorce is pending is a matter of personal choice. The purpose of this post is not to dictate personal behavior; rather it is simply intended to provide insight into the possible consequences as seen through the eyes of a divorce attorney.
Before taking the plunge, I am often asked if it is legal to date. The answer, candidly, depends on the nature of the relationship. To my knowledge it is not illegal to date while married. However, adultery is a grounds for divorce.
It is the emotional impact of dating that I believe has the most impact on divorce proceedings. Given all the turmoil stirred up during a divorce it is questionable as to whether or not becoming involved in a new relationship is advisable. There is also likely to be an emotional impact on the spouse. Even if it is accepted that the marriage is over, the perception of being replaced may be difficult to process. This can create an emotional dynamic that makes negotiations difficult. People need and benefit from the emotional support of family and loved ones during a divorce. However, be careful not to overly involve your new significant other in court proceedings, negotiations, mediation sessions and the like. Becoming all consumed with your current divorce can be toxic to your new relationship and can create counterproductive tension and hostility during the divorce process.
Realizing that I cannot control the twists and turns of my client’s lives, I would always prefer that the divorce be concluded before a client fully transitions in to the next stage of their life.
