By Partner T. Sandberg Durst
Sandy Durst, Esq., is a partner with the Princeton firm of Lynch, Osborne, Gilmore & Durst, and LLC where he heads the Family Law Department. Individuals facing a divorce benefit from the combination of legal skill, common sense and compassion that Sandy brings to each and every matter. Each case is given the personalized attention it deserves.
For most people, a divorce can be an overwhelming and intimidating process and may be the first time they have been involved in the court system. As an attorney, one of my most important responsibilities is to educate my client’s as to what they can expect from the divorce process.
I. The Initial Interview
Many times an initial interview with an attorney to discuss divorce is a very difficult step for a client to take. Often this step is just for informational purposes and not with the intent to go ahead with filing a divorce complaint in the immediate future. However, many times one spouse or the other has done everything they could possibly do to hold a marriage together, and have now come the realization that the marriage is over and are ready to proceed. In some instances, this reality is very difficult to deal with and in others, this realization brings relief. To be of value the initial consultation must be a candid and mutual exchange of information.
Typically initial interview takes about one hour in length at a minimum the information that an attorney will need from a client at that interview is as follows:
1. name and address of the client and spouse;
2. place of employment;
3. telephone numbers at home and at work and a secure e-mail address;
4. salary information;
5. spouse’s place of employment;
6. spouse’s salary;
7. whether the other party has contacted at attorney;
8. date of marriage;
9. place of marriage;
10. whether there have been prior proceedings between the two parties;
11. whether there are children;
12. names of children
13. dates of birth of children;
14. whether the parties are separated;
15. list of assets and values, including: (a) real estate; (b) bank accounts; (c) stocks and
bonds; (d) automobiles; (e) personal property; (f) life insurance; (g) pension plans; (h) IRAs;
16. list of liabilities: (a) mortgages; (b) loans; (c) credit card debt;
Once the attorney receives the above basic information the cause of action for divorce must be discussed. Under New Jersey law, there are nine reasons for which a person may obtain a divorce. They are as follows:
1) Irreconcilable Differences: This cause of action simply requires that the filing party allege that irreconcilable differences have existed for six months or more.
2) Extreme Cruelty: This may be physical, mental or verbal conduct by a spouse which makes it unreasonable to expect the other spouse to continue in the marriage. While this may appear distasteful to the client, it can be as harsh or mild as the client would like it to be.
3) Eighteen Month Separation: The parties must have lived separate and apart for 18 consecutive months with no reasonable prospect of reconciliation. Using separate bedrooms in the same residence does not meet the requirements of this cause of action.
4) Desertion: One party must have willfully and continually deserted the other party for at least twelve months. This can be physical desertion or one party’s refusal to have sexual relations for this period of time.
5) Habitual Drunkenness: A fixed, frequent, irresistible or regular habit of drinking alcoholic beverages in such excessive quantities as to produce drunkenness. This habitual drunkenness must be for a period of twelve months or more. This same cause of action encompasses drug addiction.
6) Adultery: The complaint must state the name of the person with whom such conduct was committed and also state the time, place and circumstances under which the act or series of acts were committed. The correspondent must be served with a copy of the complaint and given the opportunity to intervene in the matter.
7) Mental Illness: One party must be kept in an institution for twenty-four or more consecutive months during the marriage. This institutionalization does not have to be court sanctioned.
8) Imprisonment: One party must be imprisoned for eighteen or more consecutive months during the marriage.
9) Deviant Sexual Conduct: As with adultery, if another party is involved, he or she must be named in the complaint and served with a copy of it in order to have the opportunity to intervene.
Once the cause of action for divorce is determined, it is important for the client to have an understanding of the litigation process, and the time frame for a divorce.
Continue to the second installment in this series for more information on the divorce process after the initial consultation.
