What does your agreement say?

This time of year is often full of celebrations and good times.  However, it is often a time of great stress.  This is especially true for families that are going through the divorce process or have concluded the process.  Parenting is a big issue in virtually every case I have handled where there are children.  Parenting time becomes even more highlighted during the holidays.  The reality is that many of the pre-divorce traditions must change as the parents are no longer residing under one roof.

How to make holiday parenting time decisions easier to deal with

I often receive calls from frantic parents who are trying to resolve holiday parenting time at the last minute.  As with most major issues in life, waiting to the last minute is never a good idea.  These phone calls do not come from my current or prior clients and I’ll explain why later.

Once the caller tells me the issue they are calling about is holiday parenting time, I have a standard question: What does your Agreement say?  Whether it be your final Marital Settlement agreement or an interim order, the language of any such document concerning holiday parenting time governs.  Sadly, I often hear “What agreement” or “We didn’t address that” in response to my inquiry.  Creating clear and detailed parenting time plans is a crucial part of resolving your case.  Doing so provides guidance and avoids conflicts in the future. The reason my clients don’t frantically call me on Christmas Eve is because we have carefully constructed language in their Agreement to address such an event.

 

What to do if there are no Orders in place or if your Agreement is silent as to holiday parenting time?

If you find yourself without any guidance you must act quickly!  Frankly, if you are reading this post it is all but too late to have the court intervene.  In New Jersey, family court motions are heard on a 24 day cycle.  If you haven’t’ filed a motion yet its too late for this Christmas.  But you should proceed with putting plans in place for future holidays.  To make things easier the Court has created a generic schedule that can be adopted or modified as may be appropriate in any given case. court-holiday-pt-schedule

 

The best course of action is to make sure this topic is properly dealt with during the divorce.  The second best option is work with your former spouse in a constructive and respectful manner and remain focused on the children,

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Important developments in child support & post-secondary educational costs

Recently, two trial court decisions have been issued which will be particular importance to parents going through divorce or parents who are already divorced.  Each case warrants individual attention and check back for a more thorough analysis in the near future.

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Does alimony end if I get remarried?

If you are receiving alimony in New Jersey, you have some difficult decisions to make if you decide you want to remarry.  Under NJ law, alimony terminates upon the remarriage of the recipient regardless of the individuals financial circumstances at the time of the remarriage.  There is certainly a benefit to moving on with your life and it is almost impossible to put a price tag on happiness.  However, it would be imprudent to ignore the financial consequences of this next stage of your life.

Perhaps you genuinely need the ongoing alimony payments for financial support.  Maybe you spent a great deal of time and money negotiation the alimony terms of your settlement and now risk losing the benefit you bargained for.  Be honest with yourself over the long term stability of your new relationship.  Are you willing to risk the security the alimony may provide.  Should the new marriage end, your prior alimony award is not reinstated.

If you are hedging your bet and decide to simply live together with your new significant other, you may not be on solid ground.  Whereas remarriage results in an automatic terminaton of alimony, c0habitation can result in a modification or termination of the alimony obligation as well.  It is not autiomatic and depends on the particular facts and circumstances.  If you are divorced, receiving alimony, and contemplating remarriage you would be well advised to consult with an experienced divorce attorney to review your situation and assess your risks.

On the flip side, if you are paying alimony, your remarriage does not impact your alimony obligation.  However, be vigilant as the developments in your former spouse’s life.  Are they cohabitating? Have they gotten engaged or remarried? Should you learn of these developments, consult with your attorney to see if you are entitled to relief.

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What is divorce mediation?

What is divorce mediation?Mediation is a method of resolving your divorce without using traditional litigation. Medication is one technique of Alternate Dispute Resolution. In some cases it can be beneficial. Other cases may not be suitable for mediation. 
Do not believe the often repeated claims that mediation will be quicker, less expensive and “friendlier” than traditional litigation. I have been involved in many cases where this has not been true. 
Speak with you attorney about mediation to learn the import at differences between working with a mediator and working with your own attorney. 
Make sure your mediator is a licensed attorney with experience in family law. An individual does not need to be an attorney in order to act as a mediator under the current rules. 
Know when to switch gears. Just because you started mediation does not mean you need to see it through to the end if you are not comfortable with how it is going. 
Work with your attorney to implement a strategy for your case and an approach designed to effectuate that strategy. 

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What happens at the courthouse?

What happens in the courthouse?Fortunately, many people do not have experience with the legal system before the are facing a divorce, a domestic violence case, or a child support hearing. However, this lack of experience can lead to unnecessary fears and frustrations when the time eventually comes for them to walk through the courthouse doors.
Be prepared and there is no need for concern
One of the keys to a successful outcome in court is to be prepared. This is where The Durst Firm can offer invaluable assistance. I have literally spent thousands of hours in courthouse throughout NJ. With this experience I am able to prepare my client as to what they can expect: is there parking? is it free? where is the judge’s particular courtroom? will I need to go through security? where are the restrooms. While these concerns may seem trivial, nothing is trivial when your life is directly involved.
How can attorney help with my simple case?
The hours I have spent in the courthouse have been supplemented with hours at the office and hours attending Continuing Legal Education (CLE) Courses. After examining the same issues present in your case from every possible angle, I am prepared to make the arguments to strengthen your position. Experience allows me to be comfortable addressing the Judge, enables me to anticipate counter arguments and develop responses on the spot. Outside of the courtroom, negotiation skills have been honed time and time again.
Simply put, experience matters. Even when a case appears to be simple, an attorney can be valuable resource. If you are interested in having The Durst Firm represent you, contact us today.

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